What does ‘too busy’ really mean? Is it that my mind is racing in some imaginary competition and is unable to slow down, be present and enjoy this moment? Sometimes I feel like I’m training for the Olympics or a prize fight and yet no such events are on my horizon.
But I definitely have a coach or trainer or something cause I can here his voice in my head, “Come on, push, push, push, let’s pick up the pace. We have another 42 miles of road work before we can get to the core strengthening that’s necessary to tackle the fast twitch neuro conditioning and it must be done by noon so we can start the next twenty tasks and complete them by 5:30! Let’s go, faster, make it count, at this rate you’ll never finish today’s list.”
This coach is one hard task master and these commands are barked most mornings before I’m even out of bed. Do you have a coach/voice in your head similar to this? In her blog, Daring Boldly, my friend Louise Gallagher lovingly refers to hers as ‘critter’ and if I’m not aware my critter/ego will have my mind engaged and spinning wildly out of control on a hamster wheel going nowhere… by 6 am!
No wonder I feel ‘too busy’! It has nothing to do with my actual schedule and everything to do with thinking, worrying, running and pushing this train of thoughts faster and faster. But where is this train going? Lately I’ve become aware it’s going anywhere but HERE!
My critter coach doesn’t seem to care if we focus on past failures, mishaps or future ‘what ifs’ just as long as we don’t slow down and be present right HERE in the NOW… cause if we do that, he’s out of a job!
He knows that if we happen to slow down… we may find ‘ourselves’ and suddenly realize there’s no race, no competition and no where we need to get to. If we slow down we might just see that this frantic rat race is all an illusion.
Such a revelation could throw my critter coach into an identity crisis. What if he/we suddenly realized we’re already okay and there’s nothing we need to pursue or achieve in order to prove ourselves. What if everything we really need is already present within us? That type of information could blow critter coach’s mind!
Imagine finding that peace, satisfaction, rest, joy and contentment were NEVER out there but instead they were always HERE, right HERE within us! How would that change your daily grind?
When I’m too busy, I don’t slow down.
When I’m too busy, I miss opportunities to be present.
When I’m too busy, I miss out on enjoying the moment, enjoying smiles and enjoying me.
When I’m too busy, I will also most likely miss out on you. I won’t be present with you. I probably won’t even notice you.
Why would that happen… because I think I don’t have enough time. Time is an interesting concept. We talk about it like it’s something we gather, collect, lose or own yet the only time we really have is NOW, this brief fleeting moment.
If I think I’m too busy… then I will likely lose the only time I have… by NOT being present in the moment. What a tragedy it is to let our minds be too busy.
When I’m too busy, I miss out on everything available in the moment. Keeping that train of thoughts moving or that hamster wheel spinning requires energy. Feeding that monster, that ego machine eventually drains me.
This morning I’m too tired to keep feeding the machine. I’m too tired to push the train, to spin the wheel or even to listen to my coach. I’m just going to sit here on the deck and breathe… and relax… and oh, what’s that, yes… I hear that thought but I’m going to let it go. OK, I hear that thought too and I see that image but I’m not interested.
Suddenly a flood of thoughts race across the screen of my mind like clouds across the sky. My coach knows me so well and tries everything he can to get me to reengage. But this morning… I continue to breathe. The air is crisp and cool, the frost is glistening on the grass and as the sun peeks through… I begin to feel its warmth on my face.
In this moment of object-less meditation and focus-less presence… stress and anxiety seem to lift and my thoughts simply fade away… Ah, there I am! I guess I was always HERE. I just needed to slow down in order to find me!
Now I can enjoy the moment. Now I can relax and be present. Wow, where did that energy come from? I didn’t think I had time to write today but something seems to be overflowing… guess I better write it down.
Oh hi, how are you? Where did you come from? Yes, I SEE YOU HERE… reading with me… do you see me? This is wonderful! Why didn’t I come HERE earlier? Do you want to join me HERE in this moment? You can you know! Do you feel too busy?
It’s amazing the energy and enjoyment that can be found when we become aware that our mind is too busy. It’s usually the first step to slowing down, being present and re-finding ourselves… which in turn allows us to find, connect, enjoy and BE present with others!